Update

I'm glad I waited a little bit to write this post because I think if I would have written it on the day we were updated on Colby's condition I would have been so lost that none of it would have made sense.

About the time I put up my last post (sorry it's so poorly written, I had a hard time putting everything into words) we got a phone call from the ENT Specialist that Colby's doctor referred us to out at Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake. I was driving home from a long day of errands and when I saw the number pop up on the phone I got a little worried. With all of the other tests Colby has had, we've found that no news was typically good news. As many of you know, when they give you a time frame for results and they call you before you've reached the end of that window, something is probably wrong. As I talked to the doctor he explained to me that Colby has severe sleep apnea, he explained to me that they measure sleep apnea by how many times you stop breathing, or your oxygen levels drop below a certain percent, over a period of time while sleeping. If you have this happen 10 or more times in an hour, you've got sleep apnea. In Colby's case they found that he was either not breathing or his oxygen levels would drop below 60%, 80 times an hour. That is about every 40 seconds. This put him up high in the severe category. The doctor did try to reassure me and said that Colby is still doing good and showing great signs because he's growing at a healthy normal rate but if this is left untreated then there is a chance that he can have issues with high blood pressure, an enlarged heart, and a few other serious things. Not anything we'd want to risk. Our doctor also said that at one point during the test the technicians thought that they noticed Colby roll over and show "seizure like activity". He's not sure if this is something we need to test on. He wanted us to know that he was submitting the test results to the neurologist at Children's and once he looks it over we'll know if we need to get Colby in for an EKG. He didn't think there was anything to worry too much about because he's not 100% sure if it was accurate information, but we're going to check just to be safe. After hanging up with me he called me right back and let me know that he wanted Colby on an oxygen machine until we got his surgery done. Great.

After I wrapped up my second phone call with him I started making calls to our family doctor and local ENT here in town. Unfortunately there wasn't much I can discuss with them right then because they hadn't seen the results themselves. Once they get the results they'll give me a second opinion on where we go next. After covering my bases there I started to get follow up calls from Primary Children's. Not 30 minutes after I finished talking to Colby's Specialist ENT out there we had Colby set up for surgery this next Friday (February 18th) and we were contacted by a company here in Rexburg that delivers oxygen machines for home use. I was pretty impressed.

So, this Friday we are going back to Salt Lake for Colby's surgery. When he goes in they are going to do three procedures. One is the surgery and the other two are further tests to make sure that everything is okay. Supraglottoplasty is the surgery they would like to do and then they want to run a Microlaryngoscopy and a Bronchoscopy after the surgery. I'm still doing a lot of research on what these are and what they should do for Colby. Here is a little bit of what I could find on all of the procedures listed above:

Surgical Treatment

There are two operations for treatment. Your doctor will most likely recommend a Supraglottoplasty. The unneeded floppy tissue of the larynx is trimmed in the operating room with your child under general anesthesia. Your child will have a breathing tube in the nose through the voice box after surgery for at least one night.

Your child may need to have this operation done more than once. Having the operation may not make the stridor (his pug-like breathing) go away completely, but it will likely be less.

The other surgical option is the placement of a tracheotomy tube into the windpipe to bypass the floppy tissue of the larynx. Rarely is this operation done for Laryngomalacia. Your surgeon will try to do the Supraglottoplasty if it is appropriate and feasible for your child before recommending a tracheotomy. There are occasions and other health issues that make a tracheotomy the recommended surgical option.

If your child has an operation, he / she may still require treatment for Gastroesophageal reflux during and after the operation. It is also important to monitor your child for signs and symptoms of worsening Laryngomalacia.
-http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/health/info/ent/diagnose/laryngomalacia.htm

(Our ENT in Rexburg says we do not want to do the tracheotomy and we need to avoid that if at all possible.)

After Surgery

Your child will be cared for and closely monitored in the intensive care unit (ICU) after surgery. The ICU doctors will closely monitor your child's total care, while the ENT doctors will closely monitor the airway. While your child is in the ICU, medications may be given to help prevent them from pulling out their breathing tube. These medications make them sleepy and comfortable.

Before the breathing tube is removed (also called Extubation), often children return to the operating room for a Microlarynoscopy and Bronchoscopy (MLB) to see how well the airway is healing. The ENT doctor will decide when the breathing tube should be removed.

Once the breathing tube is removed, your child's breathing will be closely monitored. When the medications that make your child sleepy are stopped, some children experience jitteriness or slight unsteadiness (also called withdrawal) for a short period of time.

The ENT doctor will decide when the next MLB is needed, usually before discharge.

Once breathing is stable, the child will be transferred to a high observation unit (also called airway unit) for monitoring. As children continue to progress with breathing on their own, tolerating feedings and healing overall, they will be cared for in the hospital until ready for discharge.
- http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/health/info/ent/procedure/ssltr.htm

After I finally finished setting up appointments and working out getting my shifts for next weekend covered, I was called by Valley Medical Shoppe out here. They have been fantastic to work with and they notified me that they had received our case and that they were on their way to deliver an oxygen machine for Colby. With in 15 minutes we were being set up with these.

The machine on the left is the one we are supposed to run anytime Colby is sleeping. The tube on it is 25 feet long (we also have a second 50 foot hose if we need it) and it has been nice because we can keep the machine in the office and out of our room. It's a VERY loud machine and I don't think any of us would get much if we had to sleep with it in the same room. The tank on the right is a back-up in case we lose power. Hopefully we'll be okay for the next week, but it's really common for our power to go out (thanks Rocky Mountain Power).

Colby has done okay with the machine in the few days we've had it. The first day he was not happy at all about wearing his mask. We had to get it on him the best we could and hope that he would settle down for long enough for us to place it correctly in his nose. Once he was finally in bed he would constantly manage to get the tubes out of place. We were up about every two to three hours trying to get it back on him and get him settled back down. The next night we were able to get it on him without him freaking out and he slept with it pretty well. He did push the tubes out of his nose a few times but we all got about eight solid hours and that was a blessing. I'm not sure when he pulled the tubes off but when he woke up at 8:00 the next morning they were around his arm. We got them back on and he went back down for a few more hours allowing all of us to sleep in.

Later in the afternoon he napped with his oxygen on and it took a few tries to get him settled. I think everything tickles his nose and so he rubs the back of his hands against his face and that pulls the tubes out and pushes them up his face. Most of the time he clears his eyes and they end up on his forehead. Other times he's not so lucky and he quickly gets frustrated because he can't see and he's pretty much stuck.

Below is an example of how I would like Colby to wear his oxygen tube and how Colby prefers to wear it.
I'm really scared to get this surgery done. I really wish I could get more information online about what we're going to have done and I'm very anxious for our doctors to get the test results so I can discuss everything with them and figure out if this is really the best option. We will do whatever is best for Colby and we are praying for guidance as we make decisions this week. Everyone that we've mentioned Primary Children's Hospital to, when talking about everything going on, has absolutely loved them and has nothing but appreciation for everyone who works down there. We're grateful to know we're in good hands but we'd love to avoid the surgery if it's not absolutely necessary.

I want to thank everyone again for all of the prayers and kind words that have been sent our way. We are so grateful for everyone who has shown us how much we are loved and we will continue to let everyone know what is going on and what is going to happen next.

Colby's Sleep Study

This Saturday, February 5th, we did Colby's sleep study. It was an interesting adventure. The sleep study was scheduled at Primary Children's in Salt Lake. We left Saturday morning and met up with my brother, Jake, and his family and spent the afternoon hanging out. We ran a couple of errands, did some shopping, and went to my aunt's house for dinner. It was nice to be out with family for most of the day and to get a chance to relax before going in for the study.

We left my aunt's house about 7:30pm and went up to the hospital. Once we were checked in Paul helped us get settled and then headed back with my brother and Riann for the night. They would only let one parent stay over night and since I had the food I got to stay.

The technicians who got us all set up were wonderful. Kristie was the one who helped us the most and she was great at explaining everything as they got started. They were really gentle with Colby and did a great job interacting with him.

(Getting set up and checking out everything that was going on.)

When they first started Colby was very excited to see new people. When they would get close to his face he would talk to them and he watched them closely as they maneuvered around him. As the other technician, I think his name was Derek, started reaching around to put Colby's chest strap on Colby grabbed on and held his arm tight. It was really funny to watch. Colby didn't mind getting all of the wires attached to his head, until they put the mesh cap on to keep everything in place. At that point he had been touched enough and didn't want any more. It took them about another 10-20mins to get the rest of the sensors and wires hooked up before I was able to pick him up. At that point he didn't want to be cuddled, he just wanted to eat. I was grateful for that because it meant that he was tired. It was hard because you could tell he was extremely uncomfortable and with the bundles of wires we had to work around and that made it hard for both of us to get settled.

(Angry and ready to be done. Too bad it was just the beginning...)

Once we got him calm, we laid him down and prayed he'd get some sleep. He did a good job and went right down. Part of the testing process is making sure all of the sensors remain in the right spot and everything stays clear. About 30 minutes into the actual start of the test Kristie had to come in and clear his oxygen sensor by pushing a higher level of oxygen through the tubes. He did a good job staying asleep through the check up but he woke up shortly after she left. Once I got him back down he slept for about another 45 minutes before they had to make another adjustment to his chest sensor. I think it got shuffled when I picked him up to feed him. Again he slept through the whole adjustment but woke up shortly after she left. So I fed him again and got him straight back down. After the last shuffle he was able to sleep for about two hours before he was checked on again. Like the other two times he woke up a few minutes after she left. Each time I think he just wanted to cuddle because it never took him long to go back to sleep. After the last check he was able to get in another two hours worth of sleep before Kristie came in to run oxygen on him again. She said that his levels had been spiking throughout the night and she wanted to test him for the last hour, running it the whole time, so the doctors could see what he did when his levels were "normal". Unfortunately they only got about 15 minutes worth of testing in before he woke up again. This time he woke up "pulling" at his oxygen tubes, which Kristie said was probably due to the oxygen flowing into his nose. I tried to get him back to bed as quickly as possible but by the time he was asleep again it was 6:30am, time to end the test.

I think in the end, even with all of the up and down, we still got a good test in. When we first talked about his night time routine with the technicians they were a little worried because it does take Colby a little bit to get to bed and because of my late work schedule he normally goes to bed late. They said that if he didn't get right down, or wasn't sleeping good by 2am, they'd have to end the test. I'm assuming that because they didn't have to stop the test early they had enough to go on. They like to have at least six hours of sleep to work off of and according to my math we got just over five. So, I think we were okay. I wanted for them to get a reading of what might be waking him up at night, however, I don't think we got that because when he woke up he it was because he had been checked on, not natural causes, but as I listened to him sleep he did do a lot of the other things I had concerns about, like his gasping/coughing when he first goes to bed.

By the time they ended the test I think Colby was excited to be done. I think he could sense a change in his environment because he seemed to perk right up when Kristi came in the last time. Even with everything still on he was happy and content. As they got him prepped for his blood draw (to check his oxygen levels) he was happy to watch everyone again. He did great while they took all of his sensors off and got him cleaned up. He started to get restless again at the end of it all but I think that was just because he was tired.

(The end of the test, getting all cleaned up and getting the sensors taken off.)

By the time we were all packed up and back in the car, he was asleep. It was a hard drive home, my brother lives about an our north of Salt Lake and it was still dark and I was VERY tired. We made it home in good time and Colby and I went straight to bed. I had contemplated the whole way home whither or not I should wake him up to feed him before crashing but by the time we were inside and down in our room Colby hadn't even stirred. I went a head and left him in his car seat, which was pushing my luck, and crawled in bed. Thankfully someone was looking out for me because four hours later (five for Colby) we both woke up. We were as well rested as possible for the night we had both had and once we got up we got bathed and he was a happy boy.

(All done and ready for a bath!!!)

The rest of the day was pretty good. Riann got to go to church with her cousin Daniel and had a great time playing. I'm SO grateful my brother and sister-in-law were so willing to help us while we were there. Riann didn't even have to think twice about what was going on because she had gotten so much attention from everyone and it was a blessing for Paul and I to be able to focus on Colby.

It will be 2-3 weeks before we get any test results back and I'm praying that everything is okay. Overall I think we'll be alright but we're praying that Colby wont need surgery. After his last follow up with our local ENT we were told that we want to avoid surgery if at all possible so we're hoping that we get good news. We're working hard at hitting that four month mark where things should start to turn around for the better and we should start to notice improvement.

I'm so grateful for our family who fasted for Colby this month, without us asking them to, and for all of our friends who have offered prayers in his behalf. I know that part of the reason things are going well for him is because he has so many people watching over him on both sides of the vail. Colby is such a blessing to us and we are amazed by his growth each and every day. You can really tell that he's excited about life and is learning lots. He LOVES his sister and it is so much fun to watch them grow together.

Thank you all for your support and prayers as we've gone through this experience. It's been an interesting ride but we're grateful for the things we're learning every day.

GRANOLA BARS

In an effort to get healthy I've been trying to keep better foods in the house, especially snacks. I found this recipe in a WIC handout. It's for "Peanut Butter Energy Bars". I've made a few a variations of this recipe and we seem to like it with a little more than what the instructions say to use. I've found that with the few additions I've added it's closer to the "Nature Valley Chewy Trail Mix Bars".

Riann and I made another batch yesterday and I thought it would be fun to take pictures and do a post on it. I haven't priced it out yet to see if it's any cheaper than the nature valley bars but I've been able to make three batches (with the first batch being a double batch) without having to repurchase anything so I think it should be a little cheaper to make my own. I also think that by cutting out the high fructose corn syrup alone they are MUCH healthier too.

Here's what you need:


1/2 c. salted dry roasted peanuts
1/2 c. roasted Sunflower nuts (kernals)
1/2 c. chopped almonds
1/4 c. toasted wheat germ
1/2 c. raisins
1/2 c. craisins
2 c. rolled oats
2 c. rice Krispie cereal
1/2 c. crunchy peanut butter
1/2 c. packed brown sugar
1/4 c. light corn syrup
1/4 c. honey
1 tbsp. vanilla

Here's how to make it:

First get yourself a happy helper.

Mix together the first eight ingredients in a large bowl. Set aside.

Combine peanut butter, brown sugar, honey and corn syrup in a medium, microwave safe bowl.

Microwave on high for approximately two minutes.
Due to variations in microwaves, I divide the time and stir about every 30 seconds, watch it carefully or it will burn.

Add vanilla and stir until blended.

Add mixture to dry ingredients.

Stir until coated.

Spoon mixture into an 9"x 13" pan coated with nonstick spray.
The pan size is up to you. The instructions say to use an 8" square pan, it just depends on what size you want them and how thick you want them.

Press down firmly (it helps to spray fingers with nonstick spray). Let sit for about an hour.

Cut into bars.

I wrap mine in foil to store.

This is the first time I've had Riann help me make them and because of that she's excited to eat them. We had a lot of fun making it. I eat one a day as a snack and it helps cut down my cravings in the afternoons.

I hope you have fun with recipe.

2011 Reading Goal

Photo from Flickr.com

In an effort to keep my mind active, last year I decided I wanted to try and read 50 books. I'm a readers that reads in spurts. It's not often I will pick up a book or make a point to read but I would try to catch a series or I would read a book on recommendation if enough people mentioned it.

I had been struggling, when Paul went back to school, because I felt like I was spending a LOT of time in front of the TV and that needed to change and it needed to change fast. Early last year I had also started working out regularly (something I'm still working on getting back into this year) and I was trying to find things to keep my attention while I was working out. I didn't want to go to the gym and just watch the TV's there as that was part of the problem I was trying fix. I liked running to the music on our iPod but I didn't have any playlists that really motivated me and the few songs I had listened to a thousand times were starting to get old. Because I still needed something to occupy my mind and distract me from the physical task at hand, I decided that maybe I should pick up reading. I started off with magazines and small things like that but it was hard to get invested in them. I started reading the Harry Potter series at the beginning of the year and thought that maybe I could/should really get better at reading all together. After completing that series I decided to give myself a goal for the whole year. To make myself accountable I had told Paul about it because I was actually a little excited about the idea. He eagerly supported the idea but also pointed out that if I were to read 50 books in a year I would have to read approximately one book at week and I was already in March or April (I can't remember exactly when I made the decision to try). I was pretty sure I could make it because if I could get into a book and REALLY like it, it doesn't take me long to complete it. I figured I just had to stick to different series' because I could read those faster than a single book as I always wanted to get on to what's "next". Unfortunately I still have a mild fear of the library and our public library has been under construction for the last year so it made me even more apprehensive to go in. By pushing to reach my goal, I been forced to get over my hesitation, although I still have to talk myself out of buying a book in place of checking it out, and I feel like I did a good job making sure I was actively looking for books. The only problem I found was that most of the books I wanted to read were already checked out and I was always 10+ back on the list when I finally got in to request a book. That's the hard part about reading books based on recommendation, right?

By the end of the year I managed to read 28 books total. For starting so late I figured that wasn't too bad. I struggled to get into a few of the ones I picked up but my rule is always to give a book 100 pages before I'd give up on it. Most of the ones I struggled with took me a week or two to get through the first 100 pages, however once I finally got to page 100 the books suddenly got interesting and most were completed in a few days after that.

Here are the books I was able to read in 2010:

1. The Lost Symbol
2. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
3. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
4. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
6. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
7. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
8. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
9. The Fire and the Covenant
10. The Brothers
11. Where Angles Fall
12. The Second Sun
13. Fury and Light
14. From the End of Heaven
15. Clear as the Moon
16. Life of Pi
17. The Kite Runner
18. Hunger Games
19. Catching Fire
20. Mocking Jay
21. Christmas Jars
22. The Wednesday Letters
23. Recovering Charles
24. Icy Sparks
25. The Moses Stone
26. The Help
27. The Storytellers Daughter
28. Snow Flower and the Secret Fan
    

This next year I'm going to try it again. I'm going to go for 50 books in 2011. I've already finished my first book, although I technically started it in 2010 so I don't know if I should count it for this year or last year. I've got a short list of books that I want to read already but I still need suggestions. If you're willing to suggest anything I'd LOVE it. My only request is that you don't suggest a series that isn't complete yet. I loathe waiting for a book in a series and I don't want to fight anyone else for it at the library, like I would have had to do if I waited for the Hunger Games Series if my wonderful neighbor hadn't let me borrow hers. The on hold list here was 90+ people long for Mocking Jay, when it finally came out... Yuck!!!

At the end of the year I'll post my progress and see if I did any better than this year. I really think I can do it but it is something I have to commit myself to doing it. I'm not a natural born reader so this really is a challenge for me. I'm excited to keep my mind active, and away from vegging out in front of the TV. I hope that I can find some good books this year.

Wish me luck!!

Laryngomalacia

I've been staring at this page for a few days now trying to figure out how I would write this post. I'm still not 100% sure where or how to start so I'm just going to type and see what comes out. As most of you know for the last month or so we've been taking Colby in to our family doctor to find out why he seems to struggle with breathing and why he makes so much noise when he breathes. We've recently learned that it is because of a condition called Laryngomalacia (it's said exactly like it's spelt). CincinnatiChildrens.org says, "Laryngomalacia is best described as floppy tissue (epiglottis and arytenoid cartilages) above the vocal cords that falls into the airway when a child breaths in."

As we learn more about this I wonder if Riann didn't have the same condition when she was born. Because of this I don't worry too much about things getting any worse than they are now, however, a lot of the sites that I've read say that there is a chance things can worsen at four to eight months, that worries me just a little. Riann was much quieter than Colby's is so I never pursed it when the doctor's told me it wasn't too much to worry about. I toke her in a few times thinking she was congested but was always told that her airways were clear, even though she never sounded like it. I figured the doctors would tell me if there was a problem and just nicknamed her our little Pug.

This time around I've watched Colby struggle to breath and I'm grateful for a doctor who has taken the time to listen to me and take my concerns seriously. I'm grateful that nothing was seriously wrong with Riann as we learn more about everything with Colby. When we first brought Colby in our doctor took the time to watch him and didn't just cancel out the sounds Colby was making when he checked over the other general things doctors check for. Because of this we have been able to find out quickly what we're dealing with so we can quickly treat it. It has also given me peace of mind because now I can do my own research and find accurate information and have some validation that I'm not stressing out over nothing.

We have recently been down to Primary Children's in Salt Lake City and have talked to the pediatric ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat) doctor out there. Based on what he's observed he feels like Colby is not bad enough to warrant immediate surgery but struggles enough that he wants to try a few more test. We have the option to forgo the tests and go straight into surgery but we're not sure that's the direction we want to go just yet. Our second option is to have Colby under go a sleep study. Where Colby isn't having too much trouble eating and is regularly gaining weight, although it's not as much as they would like, the ENT at Children's was on the fence about rushing us straight to the operating room. It's hard to say if Colby is not gaining weight because of the condition or if he will just be following the same pattern that Riann is on and will just be really tall and lean. He's in the 95th percentile for his height and between the 25th and 50th percentile for his weight. He has been gaining pretty steadily but he didn't lost a ton after he was born so from his "take home" weight to the weight he's at now, it's not the growth they like to see in children his age. That being said he has still gained approximately three to four pounds in the two months since we've had him and he is noticeably filling out. So overall he seems to be doing good.

Another reason the doctor out at Children's is concerned is because Colby is not sleeping as long as he should at night. Some nights he'll go a full six to eight hours but most of the time he does two, four hour stretches and then a smaller two hour stretch. I'm not 100% sure if he's waking up because I force him up because he's still in our room and I'm worried about him waking up Paul, who needs his sleep for his early classes at school, or if he's really waking up on his own. I wonder if we moved him out of our room if he'd sleep longer on a regular basis but the doctors have asked us to stay with him until we have more answers. I've thought about moving into a different room with him but we don't have a bed (or air mattress) for me to sleep on yet. One of the main questions the doctor asked us during our last appointment was, "Does he gasp for air at night?", I had to think back when he asked me that and I did remember a few times in the last month where he has paused and gasped. This is also another thing we wonder about. I didn't think twice about it when I noticed it because I just assumed it was due to his reflux, that he was spitting up while he was falling asleep. I was always cautious and stayed close when he did it so I could intervene if needed but he's always slept on his side so I wasn't too concerned about him aspirating it. Now we are wondering if he's been doing this because of the Laryngomalacia or if it was in fact his reflux acting up at night, when his medicine starts to wear off. The ENT doctor told us if the pausing and gasping is due to the reflux we are okay to wait it out and to keep treating the reflux with the medicine he is currently on. However, if he is pausing and gasping because of the condition we will have to do surgery because the condition could be causing sleep apnea and, just like in adults, sleep apnea can lead to high blood pressure and heart problems in children.

The hard part about this condition is that it's hard to pinpoint what leads to which symptoms. We are slowly learning with each test that he is doing good and we hope that if we do this sleep study we'll learn that we can bypass surgery. However, my mind has been put at ease if we do have to take the surgery route because it doesn't sound like it's too invasive. I would like to avoid putting him under for anything that we don't have to though.

All this being said I have no feelings that this is going to be worse than what they describe on the various websites that I've read although it's not easy to simply think "it's not THAT bad" when you listen to him. I know we're doing better with it because when we went home for Christmas it bothered those who hadn't spent too much time with him much more than it bothered us but it is something that sits in the back of ours mind on a regular basis. It's a little weird to think that this morning I couldn't go back to sleep because I COULDN'T hear him breathing. There are periods of time where he breaths completely normal, especially if he gets his head in exactly the right position and I feel like I have to check on him more often when he does that, even though I know he's fine.

As we learn more I'll try to update more. I'm still not the type of Blogger I'd like to be but I was told by someone that most blogs are best written when you just write and not stress about how many pictures you have or if there's a point to what you're saying. It's about getting it down. I'm working on just getting it down more often, not just for you guys but for myself.

Thank you for listening, for those of you who still do.

Side by Side

I finally got instruction on how to do collages in Picasa and got to play with some of the pictures I wanted to put together. It was fun to see their similarities and how different they are slowly becoming. I can't wait to do more and see how much they change in the future.

I hope you enjoy. I can't wait to play with more images like this.

Colby's Blessing

Today we did Colby's blessing in the Fairwood ward in Renton Washington. Today was a great day. Started off a little stressful but being on time to 9am church can do that to a family ;-) Colby did fantastic and Paul gave him a beautiful blessing. It's so much fun to see the little babies dressed up in white and we had a great Sunday taking picture and spending time together as a family. Here are a few of the pictures we got from today.

The whole family group who came to the blessing.

Colby and I. He's lost his patience with pictures.
(This was one of the last ones we took.)

Riann and Colby's hands.

My handsome boy in his blessing outfit.

He's such an angel.

My beautiful babies.

Normally blessings are done on fast Sunday's so if you felt like it you would have the chance to bear your testimony in conjunction with the special day. I've been thinking a lot about that because when we blessed Riann we did it on a Saturday and didn't get to attend the fast and testimony meeting the next day because we were all sick. I figure now is a good time to bear my testimony because I know I'd have a hard time doing it in church if we had done it on a fast Sunday.

I'm grateful for my extended families. I'm grateful for all they do for all they do for Paul and I and our children. It is such a blessing to have in-law's and step-siblings who love us just as much as you would love your own family members. Growing up in a divided home should have been a lot harder for us than it was but we got lucky and as my parents remarried my family grew and those who joined us only made life easier. At times when we were in the thick of it, it was hard to see the blessings but now looking back it was all for the better.

I'm grateful for my own family. I'm grateful that Paul is such a good example to me and the kids. I'm grateful for his dedication to loving us and for all he does and how hard he works. I'm grateful that he honors his priesthood and that he is worthy to bless our children. He is a fantastic father, husband and friend and I'm so thankful the Lord has given me someone like him. I'm grateful for Riann and Colby and the lesson's they teach me each and every day. I've learned how to be a better child to my father in heaven as I've learned how to be a parent. I hope that they know I'm trying just as hard as they are to do good and that together we can learn to serve our father in heaven better every day. I'm grateful for eternal families and for the blessing it is to know that this isn't the end. I'm so thankful that we can be together after this life and for the knowledge that we are not lost.

I'm thankful for our savior and for his life, which he willingly gave. I know I need to do better to show my gratitude and serve the Lord each day. The blessings I've been given don't come free and I need to do better to remember to thank the Lord for all I've been given each day. I need to do better to teach my children through instruction, and more importantly through example, that I love the Lord and I love our church. I'm grateful for our prophet, President Thomas S. Monson and I believe that he is a true prophet of the Lord. I know he was chosen to lead our church by the Lord and I believe in his words. I'm grateful for Joseph Smith and believe that he was chosen by the Lord to lead us into to Latter days. I believe the Book of Mormon is true and need to focus my time better in studying the words of that book and spend more time learning the lessons that are taught there.

I've been given so many blessings in my life and I'm grateful for each and every one of them. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, our savor. - Amen