I'm trying to do better....

Alright, so I know I said I was going to try to post at least once a month and that has been a complete FAIL!!! I want to say life just got too busy to sit down and talk about what was going on but I'm not 100% sure that's what happened. I'm going to do a few updates on here so I apologize for the mass posts and hope that you all haven't given up on us recently.

Overall things are going good. We're still waiting for our little guy to make his appearance and hope that it will be within the next two days. If not we're hoping he comes no later than the 5th but I guess it's all between him and God right now. If he needs to spend a little more time up there getting advice and counsel, who am I to tell him that's not okay. He's probably saying his goodbyes to the many loving friends he has and receiving important lessons that he'll be sent here to teach us, and especially me as his mother. I know Riann has taught me a lot and she wouldn't be able to do that if God hadn't given her very special instruction, even though she's so little and new at life. Whatever time our little guy needs he can take. As long as it means that he's healthy and excited to meet us as well when he gets here.

I'm VERY anxious for him to come. I'm still a little scared of what it will be like once he finally comes but that's mostly because I wonder how he'll fit into our little home. I also wonder how much Riann really understands. I know she realizes that there is something or someone in my stomach but I wonder if she gets that one day, very soon, he'll be here to stay, that he's not going to be like one of her friends who comes over to play and then goes home with their mommy and daddy, but he will exist in our home as her brother and hopefully her good friend. I'm excited to see how she responds to him in general. When she met one of her friends new brother, Emerson, she instantly wanted to hold him, and look at him, and rub his head, and play with him. She was great at just sitting there and enjoying him and now she talks about him all of the time. I wonder if she'll have these same feelings towards her new brother or if she'll get tired of him quickly because he never goes away. No matter what, I know she's going to be a fantastic big sister and a great helper. I'm SO excited to open up and give her more responsibilities and chances to work around the house. I know she's little but she has so much drive to be right there working with you and that makes me so happy.

I was watching Dr. Phil the other day (not an often occurrence in our home) but he was scolding a guest on his show for not being mature in regards to his views on life, even though this man was in his mid 30's early 40's. Dr. Phil commented on how we are raising a generation that feels entitled to everything and appreciates nothing. I had to think back and wonder what are Paul and I doing right now that teaches Riann to appreciate the things she is given in life. Are we being good examples of gratitude or do we take without really pondering what sacrifices we or others had to make to provide for what we have been given. I know we can do better to teach her that we earn what we are given and I want to commit to making sure she knows the gifts of hard work and the value of putting in everything you have. As we are about to welcome another beautiful spirit into our home I know that our responsibility to teach gratitude, appreciation and kindness is so much greater than it has been and that only by example are we going to be able to teach our children in a way they can understand.

I'm grateful that God trusts me enough to raise His children and I pray that I remember this daily. It's not my right to be a parent to His special spirits but a gift He has given both Paul and I and we must treat it as such. I only hope that I'm doing the job He would have me to do, even though at the end of the day I know I have probably fallen short and missed quite a few chances to learn. I only hope I remember that as I'm learning to be a better wife and mother that I am in turn teaching my children how to be better children of our Father in Heaven.